He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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