there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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