I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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