i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
