wanna go halves on a baby?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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