Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
