So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
