Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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