I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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