Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
