i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize