I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
