I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
