Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
