Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
