2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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