She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
