I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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