guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
