1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
