I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
