I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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