Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
