i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
