Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
no you cant smoke seaweed
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
