someone threw a dead crab at me
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
