Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
