when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Randomize
