i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
