I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize