I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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