Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think my vagina is haunted
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
