I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
