this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
