the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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