Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
