talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I smell stomach acid.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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