Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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