Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
