I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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