I just saw a hot homeless man
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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