Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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