I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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