Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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