Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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