Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize