And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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