I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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