I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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