is your mom at the bar?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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