it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
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I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
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He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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