How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
areolas are like halos for boobs.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
