dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
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I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
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Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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