Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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