Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
