I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize