You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
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with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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