This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
