I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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