Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
