: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
